I love nothing more than sitting down with people and deepening our understanding of each other over dinner. For me, it’s the perfect way to build trust within a relationship because you can be open in such a relaxed setting. Showing our vulnerabilities is when authentic relationships grow.
When I sat down to chat with international speaker Luke Brendling a couple of years ago, he told me all about the pain of losing his unborn daughter in 2015.
During our chat, he said that he was writing down his thoughts and feelings to help him cope with the heartbreak. At that moment, I suggested he should take what he had written and turn it into a book. I'm delighted to say that his book was published this week; so I caught up with him to find out more about The Wrestle is Worth It.
Luke, can you please tell us what your book is about?
In April 2015, my wife and I were expecting our first child. We’d bought our first house together and the nursery was decorated. We even had the car seat in our car as we made our way to the final hospital appointment, four days before the due birth date. During that appointment, we were told by doctors that they couldn’t find our baby’s heartbeat. Our world came crashing down! It changed our life. The book came out of that.
I’ve not heard many men speak about these things. How close did the edge did you go?
You enter into a place you’ve never been to before. You get emotions that you’ve never felt before. I was broken for my wife; it’s very tough to take. What dawned on me was that men don’t know how to deal with such grief. When we went to baby loss grief support groups, I was often the only man or there was only one other dad. I thought: “I have a voice. I know how broken I am. There must be men who feel the same and don’t know how to feel strong.” That was my motivation. I have a responsibility and a voice to say to men, “You’re not alone. It’s OK to feel broken.”
Was it easy to write the book?
My book officially started when I had a conversation with you several years ago over dinner. I told you about writing down my thoughts and feelings to cope with the loss of Elle. You challenged me that night to turn what I was writing down into a book. I had thought about it before, but after chatting to you the journey began. That night, it was about 1am actually, I put into practice some of the things you had advised me to do. That’s where it all began.
Some of the things we talked about are part of Relationology’s new Writing My Book course. What would say to anyone thinking of joining the course?
I would say start writing! Get those thoughts down on paper. Type, handwrite, get as much down as you can. Focus on the structure as you go — but you need to begin. The longer you procrastinate, the harder it is to get going.
I would strongly recommend you sign up today. I can speak from personal experience that you have a wealth of knowledge that so many people do not have in this field. Start 2021 with a new book, so by the end of next year you have your book in your hand. It is the best feeling of accomplishment. It is an incredible investment in your time and business.
While you may not have the same story as Luke, we all have a book in us. As I’ve written about previously, your book can become your best business card. If you would like to join the first-ever Relationology Writing My Book course, which starts in January, you can book your space today.